Why I'm Glad I Believed in Santa Claus

... by Cecilia

"Cecilia and Trevor - Christmas 1995"

Since it's getting close to Christmas, I thought I'd add to my website this, my standard response to the inevitable question on parenting lists...

"What should we do about Santa Claus?"

I *believed*, let me tell you! I figured out in my own time that there was no Santa who flew in a sleigh with reindeer. I think I was 8 or 9 years old - I know I didn't still believe in 5th grade because I remember other kids making fun of Wanda Womack because she did, but I think the way my parents let me come to the realization gradually on my own may be one of the reasons I didn't feel betrayed. In addition, I am the oldest of 5 kids so I got to be one of the co-conspirators for a few years after that, which taught me the real reason for Santa's existence being perpetuated... it's because the *parents* enjoy the look of wonder on the children's faces. ;)

But, let me tell you about a vivid memory I have that I would not trade for anything... a memory that never would have been possible if I hadn't believed in Santa Claus.

I think it was the year I was almost 6 years old at Christmas, but it may have been the year before that. I woke up, and the entire house was dark. I thought my parents were asleep because all the lights were out, even the Christmas tree lights (in discussing this with my mom years later, we figured out that they must've been across the street having a drink with the neighbors before they started putting out Santa stuff). I got up and very quietly tiptoed into the living room to see if Santa had arrived. He hadn't... so I opened the front door and stepped out into the night air to see if I could see him in the sky. I will never, ever, ever forget how that felt. It was *magical*. I remember every detail, including the way the cool concrete of the front porch felt under my bare feet, the temperate breeze blowing my flannel nightgown, and the total wonder I felt as I peered with wide-open eyes and heart pounding up into the black sky, looking for any sign of Santa and his sleigh and reindeer. I didn't see him, but I knew he'd be visiting our house sometime before morning so I hurried back to bed and immediately went back to sleep.

I really like that memory, and I'm glad I believed in Santa Claus long enough to have that experience.

Peace

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